In a world where we are constantly interrupted, distracted and basically looking at the ‘next thing’ to do, we easily take our eye off our own goal or path. The monkey mind prevents us from noticing how our own thoughts, feelings and actions influence the direction we’ve traveled and how much we have allowed the influence of others dictate it.
How much others influence us depends on how strongly we hang onto ‘fixed ideas’. Having these fixed ideas or a mindset stops us from being open to new or different ideas.
Taking things personally stops us flowing
When we 1st experience other people, our minds immediately start to form judgments that influence our feelings towards that person. When we judge using statements such as ” I like this or I like don’t like that” or ” I am right and you are wrong” we unknowingly build barriers with that person and the communication breaks down and so does the potential relationship. This also has a ripple effect on extended relationships because then others listen to the judgments and the mind starts forming opinions based on the judgment, usually without the facts.
Our world shrinks
Judging negatively about another person reduces our own inner world that ultimately reduces our outer world. Judging others who are different creates an invisible barrier that ‘cages’ us from everyone else. Donald Trump once said he was going to build a wall to keep people out … that wall is a direct reflection of the wall/barrier he has created within himself through he’s fixed mindset and judgments of others.
We feel trapped
How would we feel if we were locked in a cage?
Reflecting on that very question gives rise in awareness of what judgments or walls we have made that have ‘shrunk’ our world until we are trapped in it … we feel scared and eventually suffocated. Ever wondered why some of us fear being trapped in small spaces like lifts ? We reflect out what we experience inside us.
What can we do to break free?
Asking ourselves and others open questions to open our minds … Listen to the answers with understanding, kindness and compassion. This takes patience and a willingness to suspend our own habitual thinking and judgments that so often influence us.
Developing a fluid mind instead of a fixed mind set allows us to really see the other person. When we slow down our thinking we allow ourselves to be curious to another’s view point which opens and increases communication and breaks down barriers/walls before they are ever built.
When we suspend judgement we are able to stay ‘free’ as we prevent ourselves being influenced or manipulated by another person’s thinking. We just notice it, accept it is their way of ‘being’ and carry on ‘being’ ourselves regardless of the experience.
Being mindful keeps us awake and alert, this is a valuable skill to use every day. It’s especially useful when we come across people who are very good at manipulating others to a point they are able to change other people’s minds around to their way of thinking. This can be positive when the thinking is positive and uplifting, but when it’s negative it’s destructive and poisonous to our own life.
When this happens to us, it can be confusing and very distressing for us. We start to feel uncomfortable and unsure, we start to question our own beliefs about ourselves and who we are and then we start to judge and doubt our own way of thinking. It shatters our confidence.
This practice prevents this from happening because we notice another person’s thinking and behaviour before we get attached to it. By remaining non judgmental we can observe with curiosity and stay detached enough to respond calmly instead of automatically reacting.
This is another useful skill as it ‘grounds’ us and keeps us connected to our true inner self. It also gives us a break from the constant stream of thinking that prevents us from living in the present moment and being aware and alert to how others influence us and take us away from our own path.
Knowing where we are in any given moment keeps us on our own path, goal and direction in life. We create our own life, reflect daily to make sure someone else hasn’t hijacked it!
What do we mean when we say “namaste?” We can often hear this word when we exit a yoga class. We may even hear it after an encounter or meeting with a friend. It directly translates to “the divine in me bows to the divine in you.”
Respect yourself and you will automatically respect others and they will reflect it back. Remember life is a reflection of whats inside so check in with your reflection daily and be the person you are looking for in others.