Be authentic …. as if

Being authentic means to be true, honest to oneself and to others.
We’re often encouraged to be authentic yet we know in our gut that’s not really allowed in this country. This causes us pain because we have to bury our true selves to fit in with the environment we were born into. Even though we know in our hearts we aren’t happy, fear of rejection prevents us from making the changes we’d so like to make. But that very fear is growing and manifesting all around us.

Currently we’re encouraged or ‘forced’ to send our children into a school system that rejects curiosity and creativity and born by parents who refuse or reject the idea of having to change and adapt their work or party lifestyle for fear of being rejected. The media are suddenly asking us to wonder why over the last 30 years our children’s mental health is deteriorating… rejecting the idea they are part of the problem.

Discovering what’s wrong is difficult being a parent, but self reflection and insight creates real change within us. We know intrinsically babies and children need to feel safe and secure. We know they need us to be there for them and be fully present to nurture them, care for them, teach them, pay attention to them and listen to them. They need to see us and they need to be seen by us. As a parent our role is to create that safe and secure environment whilst supporting and guiding them as they they grow and develop into their natural selves. They need to make mistakes to learn from so by the time they are adults they have built enough resilience to deal with the normal up’s and down’s of life

However, over the last 30 – 40 years us parents have been brainwashed into believing we can have it all but the reality is living a work and party lifestyle with even more distractions such as smart phones has in fact distracted us from the very people who need our attention the most our children. Our babies and children are feeling rejected and this is what’s causing anxiety and stress in all of us. Why? because the fact is we are not trusting our gut instinct in providing a safe and secure life and ejecting our babies and children out of our life and into strange ‘clinical’ places with strange ‘clinical’ people far too early, so we can maintain our materialistic work and party lifestyle. Ouch!

Recently many children went on strike in the hope of being getting some attention and being listened to as their fears grow about climate change, sadly they were condemned by our prime minister for daring to challenge authority. As parents we probably sat in our homes condemning the prime minister for her words, then we mimicked her by voicing our own thoughts through social media then carry on as normal because our conditioned thinking encourages us to do so.

On reflection the reality of this situation is that we are the ones that need to be held in contempt. As I write these words I’m reminded of the film ‘Liar Liar’ where Jim Carrey portrays a stereotypical dad of the 90’s who’s focus on financial wealth distracted him away from his son’s need for his attention. after losing his son’s respect and whilst being in contempt of court, Jim put’s himself in contempt for not ‘being ‘there’ for his son when he needed him.

The above isn’t a judgment call even if it may feel like one, the purpose is to raise awareness to how our life situation is causing problems for all of us. There is a solution, by learning to let go of external influences that have no positive impact on our family life. When I listen to parents in my workshops their primary concern is that of their families happiness yet they don’t realise they have it in their power to create the happiness they seek.

By making changes in our lifestyle through self reflection we can clear the path and start creating a life of intrinsic value that will increase our children’s sense of value in themselves. This change will see a reduction in mental health problems for ourselves our children and our community.

Laura Ann Hind

Over the last 5 years I have trained and qualified as a personal coach and developed a continued practice of Mindful Meditation. Whilst attending a retreat in the mountains of Spain I discovered the value of ‘unplugging’ from the many distractions in our daily life. This helped develop a self-awareness that resulted in a conscious response to negative thought patterns and associated emotions. The effect produced a more balanced outlook on life that increased feelings of calm and present moment living. Since completing further practice with Breathworks on ‘Mindfulness for Health’ and Mindful Living on ‘Mindful Based Stress Reduction’. I have used my experience to develop 'Time4Calm' a project which combines personal coaching with mindful practice that complement each other to the benefit of participants who suffer from mild anxiety and stress.

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